Easiest Decision Ever
by ithaswhatitisnt
Summary: Bella has to choose between Edward and Jacob in the tent...her decision becomes very easy with a simple stupid comment. Oneshot.


I am a fervent Bella/Jacob basher; however, my friend came to me and said "make a fic where Edward loses. Epically." So how could I say no? Challenge accepted. And here is the result. This went against all my instincts, but my friend loved it. I don't own Twilight; however, I wanted to cuddle Edward after I did this to the poor guy.

* * *

"Bella, sweetheart, we need you to pick," Edward said to me sweetly. I really wasn't sure if I heard him right because my teeth were chattering so hard. I could hear nothing else except my teeth crashing together. I stammered out a fairly discernable question, if he could repeat what he said, and he did.

"Bella," he said, huddling over the corner so as not to breathe on me and make me shiver harder, "the pup and I, we, well, _I_, want you to pick. Do you want me, or would you rather spend the rest of your life with him?"

"W-w-where's-s-s J-j-Jacob?" I stuttered, and Edward sighed, like the mere question had severely wounded him.

"Would you like me to get him for you?" Edward questioned, and I tried to make my nod stand out against my shivering. Edward hung his head in defeat and scrambled gracefully out of the tent. I just stayed huddled in the fetal position, shivering terribly while I waited for Jacob to appear.

It seemed like an eternity later, but Edward came back with Jacob in tow. Jacob's face was etched into a scowl that melted when he saw me.

"Can't you do anything, parasite?" Jacob snapped. "She's freezing and you just stand there and do nothing?"

"What would you like me to do, pup?" Edward returned. "My body temperature is naturally lower than hers. I can provide no warmth at all! Do you know how much that kills me inside, that I can't do something simple as giving warmth to another person?"

"I can," Jacob answered with a triumphant smile, "and I'll make sure she doesn't lose any body parts, either. Scoot over, Bella. I'm coming in!" I tried to move as minimally an amount as possible, in order to have room for Jacob in my roomy one-person sleeping bag. I felt Jacob slide in beside me, and instantly I felt the warmth flood over me. I scooched closer to him, like a moth to flame, only in this case the moth needed the flame or else she would die.

Jacob jumped when my freezing body touched him.

"How long have you been out here, Bella? You're almost frostbitten!" He threw a ferocious glare at Edward, which Edward responded to by snarling.

"C-c-come o-on," I sputtered, "n-n-no f-f-f-fighting!"

"Bella, let's take your clothes off," Jacob suggested. "You would warm up faster if we were both naked."

"Absolutely _not_!" Edward roared, and Jacob stared at him defiantly.

"You want her to freeze and die? Fine, go for it!" I wrapped my arms around Jake's bare chest and mumbled into his chest, "I don't wanna freeze."

"You won't freeze, Bella, honey," Jake whispered to me. "It's gonna be okay. I'll warm you up." I shoved my face into his chest and inhaled. The warmth was fabulous, and Jake smelled really good, like pine trees mixed with some kind of foresty, musky scent.

"Are you warming up, Bella, sweetheart?" Edward asked in a small voice from his corner of the tent.

"Yes," I sighed, wriggling closer to Jake.

Edward growled at Jacob, an animalistic sound that I had never heard from him before.

"You have no idea how much I hate you for what you're doing. I would rather she died than take any sort of help from you." If I had had any sort of conflict about who I was going to spend the rest of my life with, that comment had eliminated any doubt I had.

"Edward, Jacob, I have my decision," I said from the blanket of Jacob's arms. He let me wriggle free a little bit, and I straightened up. Slowly, and pointedly, I worked Edward's mother's ring off my finger and threw it back at him.

"Does that answer your question?" I asked, and if vampires could have produced tears, Edward would have been in hysterics.

"Are…you…_serious_?" The last part came out in a heartbroken, furious roar. "We are _soul mates_, Bella! Those don't just come along every day! So if I went and died in the battle now, you wouldn't care at all?"

"Not really," I admitted, and Jacob choked back a laugh. "I'm sorry, Edward. You're a great man, and it's nothing personal, but you're just so…intense, you know, and Jacob's mellower. He's my kind of guy." Childishly, Jacob stuck his tongue out at Edward, and Edward began to sputter like the exhaust pipe on my truck.

"I love you, Bella!" Edward said desperately, rising to leave.

"I loved you, Edward," I countered, and it was official: if vampires could have cried, Edward would have been weeping terribly. He stormed out of the tent, waving his mother's ring in the air, and I turned to Jacob.

"So will you stay with me now?" I asked him. "Do you still want to die, knowing I choose you?"

"Heck no!" Jacob grinned. "As a matter of fact, I hope Edward gets his head torn off!"

* * *

I know Edward's not a jerk, and I made him seem like a grade-A jerk, didn't I? Nice reviews will make him feel better! :D


End file.
